The cracks of sunlight
In case you didn’t know from everything else we’ve shared here, caring is hard. There’s rightly a lot of focus on what we find difficult, and all the challenges we face daily to get support and recognition. However, I also know that reframing the situation for myself sometimes can be hugely helpful. It allows me to recognise and hold space for the ways in which my life and relationships might be different from others, and to create places which I can take relief and small bits of joy from.
Below is a list of some (but not all because I’m still learning) of the things which I’ve chosen to see as positives over the last few years, and understand not only what has been hard, but also what I’ve gained
I guess a good place to start is that I learnt how to build a website, and these other things too...
Developing seemingly never ending patience (at times, ok, not always…)
Assertiveness (never mind training, just try getting medication delivered on time)
New friends who just get it. More of this please.
A genuine appreciation for the things others do for you and a deeper understanding of how we all relate to each other.
Learning from my mum and exchanging skills and knowledge. Although it can be a sad thing, if you’re lucky enough to be able to learn from your parents while they’re still here, it’s a precious gift.
A nudge to actively seek out joy as I know there are times when that field can be very fallow...
On occasion (and this can be tricky) a much lower threshold for what constitutes ‘a good day!’
New hobbies as a matter of importance.
Getting more confident in the kitchen - hello batch cooking!
The (growing) confidence to ask for what I need.
That I can be trusted to cut hair if I absolutely need to!
Being more empathetic and a better listener, and truly learning to listen for listening sake, rather than listening to answer.
Reminding myself of the importance of good: food, sleep, people and rest (practice what you preach!)
A purpose which looks very different to what I thought but gives me a sense of value and satisfaction that I previously haven’t experienced.
Being closer with my mum and naturally having fewer barriers between us (which sadly also included my two *secret tattoos)
Hope - full bodied, sweet, sweet hope that springs up even in the darkest times.
Actually committing to therapy and it being the best thing for all sorts of issues in my brain.
Experiencing ‘the worst’, and surviving it.
There will be days when it just doesn’t feel right to sit and try and ‘see the positives’, but there will be some times when you’re naturally more inclined to recognise that it really isn’t all as bad, all the time. Making little lists like these for yourself might help you to understand that, regardless of the outcome, there has been good amongst the bad and light amongst the dark.